i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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