Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
