I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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