is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
