you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He kissed a someone with a penis
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
