Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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