He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
