we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
