I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
