Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
