fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
