found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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