I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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