Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
