i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
