His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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