we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
