I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
