So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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