That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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