nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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