so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
