Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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