I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
