Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
