so explain again why im purple
no
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
