you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
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