So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
