Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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