I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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