is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Come back. Shots need mouths.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
