do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
