have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The power of my boobs compel you
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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