id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize