I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
