She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
