hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
