Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
