I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize