This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
