Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
