i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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