Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Ketchup is God's man juice
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
