I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
