Soap is not a condiment
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
