hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
