If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
wow bdsm is so cute
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize