I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Randomize
