Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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