break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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