do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize