too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
They took my balls.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
