This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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