My hand turned me down
handjob tips. give me some.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I checked into jail on foursquare
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
