all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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