the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
