We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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